Self- gratification is no crime, but can disturb others: High Court

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MUMBAI: While self-gratification is not crime but it can disturb someone, said the Bombay high court on Thursday  while once again asking the police to solve the problem caused by an All India  self- gratification club outside a building in Kurla (W). A division bench of Justice Dhoble and … [Read more...]

Barclays celebrates insignificant fine.. Bollinger feels pressure!

Barclays bankers celebrate after they were fined only £290 million for fixing the LIBOR rate for years.  They were jubilant when they discovered that the fine was equal to the profit they make in about 10 days. The LIBOR is the London Inter Bank Offer Rate which is supposed to be determined by … [Read more...]

Why did Nadal exit Wimbledon?

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Wimbledon: Chasing a drop shot in the second set, Rafael Nadal stumbled and tumbled into the net as his racket went flying to the sideline. Nadal was overpowered in the second round Thursday by Lukas Rosol, a Czech ranked No. 100, 6-7 (9), 6-4, 6-4, 2-6, 6-4. The upset on tennis' biggest stage was … [Read more...]

Portugal ‘sells’ Ronaldo to Bollywood in $100M deal on national debt

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Weighed down by debt, and reeling from the latest downgrading of their country's credit status, Portugal's finance ministry has secured the co-operation of football's highest-paid player in an audacious bid to draw the nation back from the brink of economic collapse. In a move which some observers … [Read more...]

Steve Jobs to be reincarnated

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Pune : About 40,0000 people took part in a ritual in Pune , India, so that Apple founder Steve Jobs could be reincarnated as Macbook for Lord Ganesha ( A.K.A The elephant god)  considered to be the holy grail of reincarnation. Pune Daily reported that Sunday's ceremony, which was organised by a … [Read more...]

Cipla and Ranbaxy team up to launch new Generic Tablet for Rs10/-

Generic tablet by Cipla and Ranbaxy

Hyderbad: Industry giants Cipla and Ranbaxy have teamed up to launch a new super-cheap Generic tablet in the market.  The announcement has generated a lot of interest in the tablet market especially due to the super low price of Rs 10 ($0.01). The announcement comes in wake of Microsoft announcing … [Read more...]

Facebook: Where bitches bitch about other bitches being bitches

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Facebook, for better or worse, is like being at a big party with all your friends, family, acquaintances and co-workers. There are lots of fun, interesting people you're happy to talk to when they stroll up. Then there are the other people, the ones who make you cringe when you see them coming. This … [Read more...]

Bappi Lahiri’s amazing weight Loss – 12 Kgs in one week

Bappi Da and his famous Gold Blings

Mumbai: Singer, composer and India's original disco king Bappi Lahiri was the talk of the town in Bollywood Gossip circles with his amazing weight loss. The well rounded singer finally took it upon himself to get his weight under check after rendering his latest hit in "The Dirty … [Read more...]

Finally a Microsoft product that reflects its design philosophy!

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Redmond: Finally a Microsoft product that reflects its design philosophyz: This week Microsoft announced a product that ties closely to it's design philosophy.  Apple executives quiver in fear. Apple had always prided itself on how well thought through it's products are.  Jonathan Ives' had … [Read more...]

Anu Malik- My Glass is Always Half Full

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                      Mumbai:  As I stood outside Mantralaya for coverage of its blazing fire, I noticed Anu Malik standing outside and staring in dismay. A mockery as a music composer, Anu had filed for permission to open a state of the art music studio in the heart of … [Read more...]

Leander Paes prepares for his movie role by threatening to ditch Olympics

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HurricaneHansa caught up with the veteran tennis player for tea at his plush Kolkata house. Leander was really  excited about his upcoming debut in the Bollywood movie Rajdhani Express. The movie which was announced in 2008 and will likely release in January 2013 features Leander in the role of a … [Read more...]

Words from the Wise- Vivek Oberoi

So Aishwarya Rai Bachchan found a new boyfriend, married him and even had his baby. But Vivek Oberoi’s habit of feuding with the press is yet to end. In a tete a tete with HurricaneHansa, this President of the Bolly Loser’s club lashed out when asked why he hasn’t had a hit film for a long … [Read more...]

Words from the Wise- Vivek Oberoi

Bollywood actor Oberoi poses with award for best negative role for the film Shootout at Lokhandwala during IIFA awards in Bangkok

So Aishwarya Rai Bachchan found a new boyfriend, married him and even had his baby. But Vivek Oberoi’s habit of feuding with the press is yet to end. In a tete a tete with HurricaneHansa, this President of the Bolly Loser’s club lashed out when asked why he hasn’t had a hit film for a long … [Read more...]

Bollywood becoming a hub for Porn stars

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If you thought you've not got enough of Sunny Leone, here's more! A flurry of porn stars will leave you sweating. Is Bollywood hearing? A large number of porn stars are set to follow in the footsteps of porn star turned Bollywood actress Sunny Leone by becoming the latest adult entertainment … [Read more...]

Right to Private Tuitions now a fundamental right

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NEW DELHI: The Supreme Court's Thursday judgment bringing all schools, except the unaided minority institutions, within the ambit of the Right of Children to Free and Compulsory Education Act gave rise to an eventuality - teachers of all schools will be allowed to  private tutorials. The majority … [Read more...]

Professional bitch slapper targeting Indian Politicians, Intelligence Bureau alert issued

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Delhi: In 2011, on November 23, Harvinder Singh first bitch slapped and kicked ex-telecom minister Sukhram at a Delhi court just after latter was sentenced to five years imprisonment in connection with the corruption case dating back to 1996. The incident had invited lot of media attention. On … [Read more...]

Mt. Everest height increasing 30″ per year

Cleanup efforts on Mt. Everest

Khatmandu: Scientists studying glaciers and its impacts on mountains have found that the worlds tallest peak, Mt. Everest, continues to grow by as much as 30" each year. Earlier surveys had found the mountain to be at 29,028 feet but this number was revised to 29,035 feet based on the survey … [Read more...]

Apple’s Siri lacks sense of direction

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Cupertino: Siri, Apples new intelligent personal assistant and knowledge navigator has proved to be extremely popular amongst the millions of iPhone 4s users. However Siri and Apple were recently sued by a an angry Californian, Frank Fazio,  for providing wrong driving directions. Frank complained … [Read more...]

Prime Minister of India breaks the vow of silence (A.K.A Maun Vrat)

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New Delhi: In a turn of events , the Prime Minister of India Manmohan Singh breaks his vow of silence( A vow of silence is a personal pledge to refrain from speaking). Mr. Singh took this oath to remain silent with the intent of contemplation  since January 1st 2012. Since then, he communicated by … [Read more...]

Research found that MBA from a top school lowers your sex drive

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London: Just about all the applicants to top business schools in the world believe that’s the case. Otherwise, they wouldn’t quit their jobs and attend a prestigious school in a two-year MBA program that costs hundreds of thousandof dollars. Aside from such vague macro data, however, there’s … [Read more...]

Investor tantrum outside Texas Court after Facebook judgement

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Investors throw tantrum after Texas Court dismissed petition to grill CEO Mark Zuckerberg and the bankers involved in the Facebook IPO.  Police had to launch tear gas on investors who were already wailing outside the courtroom.  Their complaint being that all tech IPOs were supposed to sky rocket … [Read more...]

Mamata blames UPA government for late Monsoons

Tansen rendering a magical performance in Emperor Akbar's court

The 2012 monsoons got off to a late start as the seasonal rains missed their June 1st deadline to cast first showers in the southern state of Kerala. Monsoons are critical for the nations agriculture and farming needs. Farming accounts for nearly 15% of the nations $2 Trillion economy. Mamata … [Read more...]

Google+ hits 200 million registrations with 2058 active users

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San Jose: Google+, Google's biggest challenge to Facebook, hit a major milestone this week. The company announced that Google Plus has more than 200 million registrations. This is a major landmark for the company which is challenging Facebook with 800 million users. Most of the registrations come … [Read more...]

Jail Time for Dummies

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Pune: National disgrace Suresh Kalmadi, who was recently released from Tihar Jail, is making a foray into the world of literature with his upcoming publication "Jail Time for Dummies".Tihar Jail is India's largest correctional facility and has housed several notorious criminals and dignitaries like … [Read more...]

Sallu Miyan

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Mumbai: Among the array of blockbusters under production is a quiet chugging Sohail Khan’s “untitled superhero movie”. This super hero role will be played by ‘Being Human’ Salman Khan (Sallu to you daahlings!). A trusted insider revealed to HurricaneHansa, that inspired by Sher Khan in … [Read more...]

Betting on Poonam Pandey’s next move

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Mumbai: As the 2012 IPL betting season winds down, betting tycoons plan to keep the excitement rolling by venturing into new and creative areas. The rumor mills are running feverish with the next anticipated moves for Poonam Pandey also known as "entertainer of the year".  Here are some of the top … [Read more...]

Li Chin to wow Bollywood in Jism3

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지난달 30일 서울 (사)한국모델협회 회의실에서 최관호 한국게임산업협회회장, 양의식 한국모델협회 회장을 비롯한 슈퍼모델 이화선, 레이싱모델 이현진과 양 단체 관계자가 참석한 가운데 한국문화산업 컨텐츠의 도약을 위한 … [Read more...]

Zanjeer –The Shackles remake update

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South Indian actor Ram Charan Teja (RCT) is all set to step into the shoes of “the angry young man” Amitabh Bachchan in the upcoming blockbuster Zanjeer-the Shackles remake. Priyanka Chopra will play his love interest. Although the film is only 40% complete, the director Apoorva Lakhia states … [Read more...]

Indian Fans “NOT” gripped by Olympic fever

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Delhi: Ajay Maken ‘s Minister of sports  press conference, not broadcast on radio in case any listeners were driving vehicles or operating heavy machinery, delivered a blend of the predictable, disappointing speech that left pulse rates unaffected. Indian Olympic fan Rajesh Singh said: “I … [Read more...]

Interest in Rakhi Sawant classified as mental illness

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Delhi: HAVING an interest in Rakhi Sawant is a form of insanity, psychiatrists have confirmed. A meeting of the AIMMS ‘s  psychiatrists concluded that anyone actively keeping abreast of the troubled actress is mentally ill, dubbing the condition Sawant Syndrome or “Sawantam” for … [Read more...]

Zaheer Khan chooses Ramona Arena over Isha Sharvani

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Notable bowler Zaheer Khan was spotted holding hands with former MTV VJ Ramona Arena in a Mumbai mall. This obviously means that the "most awaited" nuptials between Zack and his danseuse muse Isha Sharvani are kaput! Upon further investigation of this strategic “change of pitch” yours truly … [Read more...]

Manmohan Singh playing Video Games on iPhone All Day

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Delhi: Aides to Prime Minister Manmohan Singh have been complaining this past of week of the PM’s behavior during meetings.  Speaking on condition of anonymity, several high-level staffers have said that the PM has seemed distracted since being granted his super-secure iPhone device this past … [Read more...]

More Mobile phones in India than Toilets

More people have access to Mobile phones than Toilets

The latest Indian Census data for 2011 has confirmed that more Indians have access to mobile phones than toilets. The data highlights that while 53.2% of households have a mobile phone, only 46.9% Indians have toilets. According to the figures, 49.8% of the population defecate in open with a sheer … [Read more...]

Microsoft to relocate to Oklahoma City?

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Redmond: The Elefunt technology team have caught wind of rumors that Software giant Microsoft, based in Seattle Washington, may be considering relocation of its Corporate offices and IT development centers to Oklahoma city. This doesn't come as a surprise to several industrial analysts who have been … [Read more...]

Canadian Malayalis traumalized by rising costs of dry cleaning

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Calgary: Warnings that  dry cleaning  prices have skyrocketed have been blasted by the local Canadian Malayali population. The 50 per cent rise in the price of dry cleaning one lungi  is reported to be caused by a rise in the global manufacturing of dry cleaning soap. Opportunists have been … [Read more...]

Vidya Balan to play double role – Ooh La La

Vidya Balan flaunting her curves (whatever) in Dirty Picture

Hyderabad: From the girl who played a studious character in Hum Paanch to the Ooh La La girl in Dirty picture, Vidya Balan has come a long way. And now this glam diva will add a new feather in her rising career by playing a double role in an upcoming film by Green Chilli productions. Shooting … [Read more...]

Holy Spit: Miracle in Brindavan Colony

Images of the Holy Spit are now showing up all over Facebook and Twitter

Hyderabad: Hundreds of thousands of followers thronged to the Brindavan Colony in the Nizampeth area when news of a "Holy Split" spread across the area. Early morning commuters first noticed a this new spit form in a remote corner of a building. The news went viral after it was announced on the … [Read more...]

London Olympics: Indian contingent of 3500 to include 93 sportsmen

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Delhi: The Indian Olympic Association has announced that India will send a contingent of 3500 members to the London Olympics which will also include 93 sportsmen. The sportsmen will include a 16 member Hockey squad and participants in wrestling, shooting, tennis and women's weightlifting events. … [Read more...]

Indian snake dance takes japanese weddings by storm

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Tokyo, Japan:In a recent article in USA Today, the large, highly profitable and influential world of weddings and brides in Japan have taken to Indian snake dance like a hurricane. The fastest-growing dance form, which features natural movements of human body and synchronization is a natural … [Read more...]

Brazilian model becomes a nun after watching a youtube video

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Rio De Janeiro, Brazil: It took a mere You Tube video of an Indian boy proposing a girl to convert model Isabella Alexander into a nun. Isabella was traumatized after watching this proposal and was taken to hospital after which she renounced the worldly pleasures. Check out the following video … [Read more...]

Sharapova’s screams and moans are louder than those of Sunny Leone’s

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Chennai :The 21-year-old Russian let out a volley of shrieks and yelps as she played fellow Russian Alla Kudryatseva in the second round of Wimbledon. Using a digital sound level meter, The Telegraph recorded maximum decibels of 103.2, louder than a motorcycle or a lawnmower. A snow mobile and … [Read more...]

Renowned Atheist turns into a God believer in 10 minutes

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Jaipur: It took a mere 10 minutes of driving through Indian traffic to convert renowned Atheist Gabrielle Skrimnovski into a God believer. Gabrielle apparently jumped from the Rickshaw that he had rented and was last seen running away begging God for mercy. Check out the following video and let … [Read more...]

37% Men go to the Gym only to watch TV without being disturbed

Game Day at Gym's across the nation

At first glance you might think this is a typical Sports Bar. But you might surprised to know that this is actually the scene in hundreds of fitness gyms across the nation especially on Game-Day.  A survey conducted by Nelly and Associates revealed that 37% of men visit the Gym on Game-Day only to … [Read more...]

Attwal Family from Ludhiana declared a National Heritage

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Punjab: The Indian department of Archeology has declared the Attwal family from Ludhiana Punjab as a National Heritage. The Attwal family achieved this unique status after the national census board completed its analysis of the 2011 census. Parminder Singh Attwal is a farmer and part-time … [Read more...]

India only Blackberry smartphone meant to herald the company’s revival

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Vancouver: Research In Motion's appointment of IIT graduates to advise on drastic options, including a brand new "BlackBerry Alphonso" , may be the last ditch resort by the Canadian company to revive the smartphone business.There is now a real danger for RIM that without an India only smartphone the … [Read more...]

Aaradhya Bachchan (A.K.A Beti B) signs deal for debut film in 2030

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Mumbai: Karan Johar and Dharma productions once again proved their mettle by signing up Aaradhya Bachchan (popularly known as Beti B) for her debut film in 2030. Aaradhya is the daughter of Abhishek and Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, Bollywoods version of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Aaradhya … [Read more...]

Bollywood producers lose more than Billion rupees due to bad breath

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Mumbai:  The B town is grappling with losses exceeding 1 Billion rupees because heroines have refused to share screen with the B-town serial kisser Emraan Hashmi for the touted Emraan's bad breath.  Producers are screaming for toothpaste and mouthwash but to no avail because Emraan doesn’t … [Read more...]

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TheElefunt.com is a satire news site – this means that all the stories are for entertainment and are not true. TheElefunt LLC. accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information – it is all made up and is not accurate. Refer to http://theelefunt.com/terms-and-conditions/ for our Terms and Conditions.
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